October is Domestic Violence Awareness Month

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Oct 1

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If you think there's no way you're in an abusive relationship, we strongly encourage you to review this checklist. You might be surprised to discover some unacceptable behavior that's been going on. Sometimes, abuse can go hand in hand with addiction. For some of us, we stay because we aren't convinced things are really that bad. We tolerate more than we should. Remember: knowledge is power and the way we become powerful over this disease – we become educated. Even if you don't fall under the category of abuse, then learn and prepare yourself to help another woman. Take a moment to answer the following questions that goes over different types of abuse. This simple checklist was created by ‘The National Domestic Violence Hotline.’

INTIMIDATION

Intimidation is one form of abuse. Using the list of behaviors provided by TheHotline.org, check for any behaviors you’re experiencing in your relationship.

My partner makes me feel afraid by using looks, actions, or gestures
Smashes things
Destroys my property
Abuses pets
Displays weapons

EMOTIONAL ABUSE

Sometimes abuse can look like name calling can making you feel inferior. Check for any behaviors your partner displays.

My partner puts me down
Makes me feel bad about myself
Makes me think I’m crazy
Plays mind games

ISOLATION

Isolation is another form of abuse. Check for any behaviors your partner displays.

My partner controls what I do, whom I see talk to, what I read, and where I go
Limits any outside involvement
Uses jealousy to justify actions

USING CHILDREN

Using the children to get what they want is another way your partner can attempt to control you.

My partner makes me feel guilty about the children
Uses the children to relay messages
Uses visitation to harass me
Threatens to take the children away

MINIMIZING, DESTROYING, BLAMING

My partner makes light of the abuse and doesn’t take my concerns seriously
Says the abuse didn’t happen
Shifts responsibility for abusive behavior
Says I caused it

USING MALE PRIVILEGE

When your male partner treats you like you are worth less than him, this is abuse. He’s using male privilege to assert power over you.

My partner treats me like a servant
Makes all the big decisions
Acts like the “master of the castle”
Is the one to define men’s and women’s roles

ECONOMIC ABUSE

Using finances against you or withholding them from you is another form of abuse.

My partner prevents me from getting or keeping a job
Makes me ask for money
Gives me an allowance
Takes my money
Doesn’t let me know about or have access to family income

COERCION AND THREATS

My partner makes and/or carries out threats to do something to hurt me
Threatens to leave me, to commit suicide, or to report me to welfare
Makes me drop charges
Makes me do illegal things

If you are a victim of domestic abuse, Crime Victims United is here to assist and support you and your loved ones thru this difficult time. Our virtual clinic provides resources for those seeking help, outreach and support.